Light’s Love Language Have you ever thought about how you communicate your love for someone? Do you know what language to use? In Gary Chapman’s book titled, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, he provides five languages for us to use to communicate with our partner (and can be used to better express our love for our best friends, parents, and children). We can use love languages to better understand those closest to us by speaking our loved one’s language and giving ourselves self love language. Partner’s Love Language Self Love Language If you are interested in finding out your love language click here heart ❤️ Understanding your partner’s primary love language contributes to a stronger bond and creates opportunities to support your partner during challenging and celebratory times. My primary love language is quality time. For me I am not concerned with the amount of time I spend with my partner. I feel comforted when I enjoy quality time where I have my partner’s undivided attention. I don’t want to simply be included in a moment, I want to enjoy being with my partner when there are few distractions (television, phones, really any distractions). My fiancé and I talk about this quite a bit, especially when life gets busy. We intentionally make plans to spend time with each other, things such as morning coffee to catch up about life and the world to planning a date night for the two of us. My fiancé’s primary love language is words of affirmation. He enjoys receiving messages from me that show I care or cards that I leave around for him to find. Those who have this as their primary love language enjoy shared words of affirmation on a consistent basis and feel best supported as the receiver of this language. The funny thing is as individuals we tend to give our partners the love language we prefer but this may not be the best approach because you are not meeting their specific need. For example, my fiancé and I both tend to give each other our love language. It’s not always easy giving others what they need but let me tell you the benefit of speaking the right love language can go a long way. It doesn’t just happen, you have to dedicate time to talk about how to best communicate to meet each other’s needs. By acknowledging each other’s love language you are able to invest in the relationship. I haven’t always done the relationship thing right, Understanding the five languages is one resource to try and is a great dialogue starter for me and my fiancé. Creating space to chat about each other’s love language helps with doing life together. There are times he is out serving our community as a firefighter and I am away traveling for conferences presenting or attending meetings. We have to be attentive to each other’s needs for our relationship to flourish, It’s not always easy as we both have learned in the past and when life gets busy it can be challenging. We know it takes work, we are willing to do the work for a strong partnership even when the path of life throws us curve balls. How will you communicate your love and speak to the light’s love language in your life? “Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction the satisfaction of having genuinely loved” - Gary Chapman
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