Light Patiently Living without the Pressure to Perform
Cara Lucia, Cara Lucia, Cara Lucia…I remember as a child hearing people close to me call for me using my first and middle name. As I reflect over the past year of writing my blog, I continue to remind myself to patiently live without the pressure to perform.
Born Cara Lucia Wise, my parents Elizabeth Wayland and James Wise gave me the name "Cara Lucia" standing for "Friendly Light", my name is the inspiration for my work to share with others the importance of sharing the light we are given. To share the idea of imperfection, failure and resiliency. As an educator and a mother, I believe we have a responsibility to teach our children, students, peers, colleagues, friends, and family members to have difficult conversations. We must engage in community and know that change does not come to fruition without making mistakes and learning from those mistakes to create positive change in our personal and professional life. It is not about perfection; it is about taking risks, being resilient and contributing to what truly matters.
I believe in using personal and professional life experiences as a tool to help guide others through personal and professional development opportunities. Sharing stories creates connection and gives us the opportunity to embrace continuous learning and development of ourselves. Throughout my life, I have had opportunities to meet many individuals that influenced my own growth and development such as teachers, friends, mentors, employers, colleagues, and students. Through my engagement in higher education and community service endeavors, I have learned the importance of teamwork and sharing knowledge. I want to give back in a way that will benefit others in their own personal growth and development as so many have done for me.
Friendly Light, Cara Lucia is as much of a personal journey as it is a professional one. In the past year, I have had to be extremely patient with the process and myself. There were days I didn’t have the time to write, I questioned what I was writing about, I debated with myself if I should continue due to the lack of resources I have and on and on. I decided that I owe myself the right to be patient and instead of worrying about what doesn’t go right it is better to step right into the risk to be imperfect, to fail and to illuminate resilience.
Taking on something new as well as putting yourself out into the world by being vulnerable can bring on self-induced pressure. Not only your internal dialogue but also the voices of others who share with you what you should or should not be doing. Your internal voice and the voice of others pressure you to respond in a certain way.
The choice to select patience over pressure will undoubtedly determine how you will perform. If I choose patience, I will be more likely to fulfill a goal. If I listen to the pressure I will more likely worry, be anxious and intimidated by the task I am trying to accomplish.
1. Select Patience: we have an ability to tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious during the process for achieving our purpose.
2. Feel Pressure from ourself and others: we listen to persuasion, influence, or intimidation that makes us feel we have to respond or act in a certain way. The pressure may hinder us from accomplishing our goal because we are not patient with the process or the timing for what we hope to accomplish.
3. Perform for Our Purpose: we will carry out, accomplish, or fulfill our purpose. When we do fulfill a goal, we are able to reflect back about the process of how we got where we are. The way we accomplish this is by living patiently without the pressure to perform.
In all honesty, I daily have to check my patience meter. Let’s be real this is true for all of us. If we catch ourselves in the moment when we become impatient we will be more likely to acknowledge that what is really happening is the self-induced pressure to perform or the perceived pressure we feel from others to perform.
As I step back into video blogging and writing my blog, I wanted to share an example of how my patience meter continues to fluctuate with changing my name from Cara Wise McFadden to Cara Lucia. Yes, it sounds simple, but isn’t it sometimes the simplest of things that can get us wrapped up in the impatient game.
Here is a video blog from Wednesday highlighting the name change and kicking off this year of my work.
As I finalize the steps to change my name officially to Cara Lucia, I know I will continue to hit delays. I believe by the end of July my name will change through all of the processes of the federal and state government. Once that is complete there will be more hurdles to jump and setbacks as I change my name for bills, passport, driver’s license, emails…okay I am starting to feel anxious writing it all out.
Gradually, I’ll embrace that all things take time and I will catch myself in the moment of impatience to refocus on the task and know eventually it will come to fruition.
I am excited to begin the second year of my Friendly Light Friday blog. The purpose of the blog is to share concepts to develop professional learning environments with intentional design founded in relationship building, strategic thinking, realistic goal development and human connection. My hope is to share concepts that anyone can use for their daily personal and professional lives.
My hope is for readers to learn to embrace self-awareness through reflection, create methods for understanding the lens of others, and develop community through collaborative partnerships in the various environments we find ourselves in daily.
Friendly Light, Cara Lucia continues to teach me patience on the daily, I have to remind myself to continue the work without the pressure to perform and embrace “Why” Friendly Light, Cara Lucia is important to me.
The importance is simple…I want to inspire you to be your unique self because you already are. I want you to understand you have nothing to prove. Your only responsibility is to step into your purpose and use your purpose to build stronger communities that contribute to positive change.
I look forward to sharing stories with you and intentional strategies to teach, explain, demonstrate and inspire. This makes learning both fun and memorable. I hope you share a story and you find yourself using it in your personal or professional life.
"Be your unique self, embrace those who challenge and support your personal growth. Never compromise your passion for what others believe you should be. Always listen with an open heart and create space for intentional understanding." – Cara Lucia